"I've never met a problem that couldn't be solved by ignoring it long enough."

— Albert Einstein (probably not)

"Success is 10% inspiration and 90% pretending you know what you're doing."

— Steve Jobs (fictional)

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

— Confucius (satirical)

"I tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life."

— Shakespeare (not really)